After returning from a little winter vacation about a week ago, I began to notice that I just didn’t feel like my normal self (you may have seen this). A dark cloud seemed to sit above my head radiating weight upon my shoulders. Everything felt difficult…and I just felt down, or as my mom would say: I was experiencing mayonnaise (cuter name for malaise). Until last night, I let these feelings exist—let the darkness sit still and never questioned what may be causing this shift in my mindset. I know…but I’m a psychology scholar, I know better—there is a shift in feelings –> question what is causing this shift –> get to the root of what thoughts may be automatically swimming through your mind and feeding these uncomfortable feelings –> accept these thoughts and then change/replace them with rational thoughts to counter the feelings –> let these rational thoughts guide you into action, creating a positive ripple effect on your feelings (i.e., reverse engineer your feelings through a little detective work). This little algorithm seems so simply BUT is actually incredibly difficult to do when you’re under the dark cloud.
This difficulty of applying knowledge to yourself is universal, don’t let anyone fool you (especially the best psychologists or spiritual gurus—life is tough, sometimes we know exactly what to do and do it…and other times we simply let the toughness exist and that’s okay. We are all human and susceptible to the same demons, regardless of what we know or what we do or what we have.
Until last night, I let the toughness exist and then a shift occurred. I began to journal this shift before writing this post and filled so many pages that I’m going to dedicate another post to my experience from last night and how you can use the tools that I applied for times that you feel stuck under the dark cloud or have a case of mayonnaise :).
Now, that the my dark cloud has a weakened presence, I have a couple notes to share.
… I have been chatting with my friend Dave Ursillo about his writing group, The Literati (cool name, right!?). I can’t wait to share a little q + a I did with him about this brilliant concept next week. But in the meantime, I recommend you learn more here. This is an affiliate link which means if you decide to join the writing group, I will be given a small referral fee. I like to keep things transparent :).
… My little paper dream is almost ready to launch and I’m both excited and VERY nervous. I would love need your support. (getting super vulnerable, yikes!)
–> You can “like” the Facebook page for Two Rubies where I share behind the scenes info, ask questions, and post inspiring quotes/links.
–> You can also sign-up for the Two Rubies’ VIP list to find out when it launches and other insider goodies (ex. downloads, printables). I promise that you won’t be getting a lot of emails (only good stuff once in a while).
Wishing you a happy, sun filled weekend!
Love,
Carolyn
P.S. I would be oh so grateful if you could help me begin to spread the word about Two Rubies. Click to Tweet!
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Hey Carolyn,
Thanks for sharing your experience with the mayonnaise. I love that name for it – mine is “grumpy butts” (long story). I think it helps us talk about difficult or uncomfortable feelings when we have our own pet names and language for them. I’ve been in a similar situation where outside of feeling, I know how to get to the root of my low feelings and turn them around, but actually doing it while I’m under that cloud feels like a whole other hill to climb. It’s so good to feel the click eventually though.
Excited to check out your little paper dream! Very inspiring :)
Fun names always help!! I need to create a glossary for all my made up names :)
Caroline, thanks for sharing such a deep and personal post. So glad to see that you have come out of the dark cloud with new insight and wisdom. Thanks for sharing the news of new writing group, I have just purchased the membership for The Literati (and yes I used your link, because I love transparency and honesty).
Hi Carolyn-
I truly appreciated this post! Thank you for being so honest about the dark times we all sometimes feel! I often feel that way after a visit with my dear out of town children comes to an end! Although controlling our feelings is difficult, it is at least helpful to know what is going on with our inner selves!
I am also inspired by your project! I am also attempting to venture on a project of my own to pay tribute to my dear parents that have passed on and commemorate their lives and all of the wisdom they have instilled in my through their tender loving guidance. I will pass on the word about Two Rubies ;-)
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