manifest

Reverb is an exercise in reflexivity. We step back from where we are, in the here and now, and reflect on the past year. We separate our intellectual interpretations from our emotional interpretations. We practice feeling deeply, becoming immersed in our senses. We look back with an open-mind and an open-heart. This practice is difficult, which is why we call it an exercise—a muscle we are working to develop one moment at a time.

At the same time, we begin to look forward, to visualize how we want to be in the coming year. We cultivate a beginner’s mind, ready to light a path across an open field. Our emotions serve as our inner compass. This inner compass is our anchor as we begin to think about our intentions for 2013—how we want to show up in the coming year and who we want to be.

The Fluent Self

The exercise requires digging deep and asking tough questions. Through these questions, we notice both smoothe and sharp responses—memories and emotions that come upon us like tidal waves. We don’t select what comes to the surface. As such, we navigate beautiful memories that we hope to relish as well as the memories we wish we could divorce from our being. Yet, in the end, we feel a deep sense of relief, a sense of nourishment that is very much well deserved.

Traditionally, Reverb begins on December 1st. Yet, some of us aren’t able to begin on that date and start a bit later (maybe even in January!). The date on the calendar is merely a mark in the sand. I intentionally decided to push Reverb back for myself this year. While thinking about the process and sharing my thoughts in the Reverb Facebook Group, I decided I wanted to mix things up this year—approach this exercise a little differently, creating the Reverb Remix.

The Reverb Remix maintains the same focus as previous years: reflecting on the past year and manifesting how/who you want to be in the new year. The Remix splits this project into two complementary components: Reflect (Part One) and Manifest (Part Two). Part One occurs during December 2012 (ideally) and Part Two occurs in January 2013. It’s a bit less intense than the traditional Reverb, but holds the essence of the original exercise.

Since, our schedules can be a bit unpredictable during this time of year, I have created a printable document that you can use for the Reverb Remix. You can Reverb privately using this document, post your responses to the Facebook group or to your own blog. This exercise is meant to be flexible to match your own needs and preferences. You can also use this Remix as a supplement to the traditional Reverb process if you are already involved in that journey. There are no rules or one right way to do this exercise.

Each part, contains 10 prompts. You can respond to all ten prompts, create your own ten prompts, or choose a few to respond to. Choose to move gently and select based on your instincts. Your responses don’t need to be words. You can decide to respond with images or photos you’ve taken, a quote that comes to mind, a song, etc.. The options are endless. However, if you’re like me and need a bit more structure, this printable document will serve as your handy companion.

–> When you’re ready to begin, you can download the document as a PDF file *here*.

I wish you a journey filled with an abundance of self-discovery and beautifully magical moments.

With love,
Carolyn

P.S. If you’re already participating in Reverb with any group, feel free to leave a link to your blog so we can follow along!

Online | Stay Connected

FACEBOOK GROUP | http://www.facebook.com/groups/248777998517088/

For updates on Reverb Remix and to share your journey online, use these hashtags: #ReverbRemix #Reverb12 

I will be sharing your remix journey online through my personal social networks as well so check in often at the sites below!

BLOG | carolynrubenstein.com/blog

PINTEREST | pinterest.com/crubenstein

TWITTER | twitter.com/carolynr

INSTAGRAM | instagram.com/crubenstein

Images | Sharing

This is a social exercise that I hope you will share with others. Feel free to use any images posted here (ex. the Reverb badges) and the prompts on your blog. Please kindly credit the images and prompts by linking to my blog: carolynrubenstein.com/blog. Thank you! 

A couple more badges for you to use below! This page will serve as the “home base” for Reverb Remix. I will add a spot to my sidebar so you can easily access it through the end of January. It may take a bit to add it to the sidebar so be sure to bookmark this page :).

Reverb12 Badge 500 pixels wide

Reverb Remix 2012 Badge 500 pixels wide

PROMPTS

*12.25.2012: I’ve updated this Reverb Remix page to include all the prompts for easy access. The prompts are also included in the downloadable workbook with inspiring quotes :). 

==PART ONE | REFLECT==

1. One Event. Reflect on a major event that occurred in 2012. Select an event that was experienced by people outside your immediate community.

Personal Note: I wrote this prompt in response to the tragedy felt across the world after the shooting in Newtown, Connecticut at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I believe the personal impact of this experience is important to look back on in the future. There is no need to respond to this specific event, but it is something I would consider reflecting on in a way that feels most comfortable for you.

2. Questions. What questions did you ask in 2012?

3. Perspective. What is one thing you’ve seen differently in 2012? How has this shift in perspective influenced you?

4. Connection. Have you connected with new people in 2012, online or offline? Name five people you’ve connected with in 2012. And (bonus!) name five people you would like to connect with in 2013.

5. Vulnerability. Brené Brown writes powerfully on the topic of vulnerability. She is a pioneer in bridging the research of vulnerability with the living of vulnerability. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené writes about her experience at TED, how she gained the courage to expose herself as vulnerable in order to most powerfully demonstrate what it means to be vulnerable. Two lines in her book resonated me with the strongest:

Give me the courage to show up and let myself be seen. 

What’s worth doing even if I fail?

Reflect on your vulnerability in 2012. Specifically, here are three questions suggested by Brené to explore when thinking about your vulnerability: (1) What do I do when I feel emotionally exposed?; (2) How do I behave when I’m feeling very uncomfortable and uncertain?; and (3) How willing am I to take emotional risks? Think about these questions in relation to 2012 and/or 2013.

6. Well-Being. How was your overall well-being in 2012? You can think of your overall well-being as a composite of six domains: Interpersonal, Communal, Occupational, Physical, Psychological, and Economic (I COPPE; Prilleltensky, 2011). Do you notice that your overall well-being was influenced by one of these domains more so than the others?

7. 12 in 2012. Reflect on 12 moments in 2012. Or create a timeline, and focus on one moment/experience from each month in 2012. Get creative with the number 12 and what this number means for you in 2012.

8. Reading. What books have you read in 2012? What has been your favorite book (or books if you can’t pick just one) that you’ve read this year? 

9. Year in Review. As you reflect back on the happenings of 2012, what were your high points and what were your low points? What do you notice as you look back on the year as a whole?

10. One Word | 2012. Encapsulate the year 2012 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word.

==PART TWO | MANIFEST==

1. One Word | 2013. Imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2013 for you?

2. Ease. What can you do to add ease to 2013?

3. Giving. “The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The meaning of life is to give your gift away.” (David Viscott) What is your gift to give?

4. Ordinary Sparkling Moments. Reflect on the ordinary moments that bring you joy (e.g., the tea pot whistling, the sun setting). What moments would you like to relish in the coming year?

5. Creativity. What was the most creative thing you did in 2012? How do you plan to use your creativity in 2013? (Note: creative does not always mean artistic. Think outside the box here. Get creative!)

6Rituals. What ritual(s) would you like to introduce into your life?

7. Dream. What crazy and wild dream would you like to become a reality (or at least begin to make a reality) in 2013?

 8. Vocabulary. If you could eliminate one word from your brain forever—what would it be? (Author: Meadow DeVor)

9. No | Yes. What will you say NO to in 2013? What will you say YES to in 2013 that you didn’t say yes to in 2012?

10. Conscious Entry. How do you wish to be in 2013?  

 

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After a powerful experience, do you ever find yourself a bit numb—emotionally drained? Do you retreat to the safety of restorative activities that enable you to create some distance between you and the experience? This time for restoration is essential to your ability to digest and process the experience.

During the Reverb11 journey, I noticed that many prompts touched on experiences too close to the surface for analysis. Rather than try to rush the process, I found that I gained clarity by simply noticing that more time was needed. Most importantly, I realized that the act of reflecting does not mean you need to generate grand patterns and interpretations. The act of showing up and reflecting does not need to generate anything new. The experience itself is nourishing.

After a few days away from Reverb11, I spent some time reflecting on the experience. I’ve shared these raw reflections below. Thank you for showing up and sharing this journey with me.

The Good

- My prompt responses brought a new sense of vulnerability to the blog. This vulnerability is scary yet extremely liberating.

- My relationship to comments changed, for the positive. Prior to Reverb11, I was easily let down when a blog post generated very few or no comments. I questioned my content and my identity as a blogger. I was so immersed in writing and interacting with other reverbers that I don’t know which posts generated higher or lower numbers of comments. I love the posts that I created during this time and feel much more comfortable with my role as a blogger. I don’t need a certain number of comments to validate this for me.

- I loved having the Reverb11 Facebook group to vent and connect with others in real time. I definitely want to create a Facebook group for this blog in the near future.

- I responded to all 31 prompts (which I didn’t think I could do). My goal at the beginning was to complete 15 of the 31 prompts. I guess I underestimated myself!

- I loved collaborating with Tiffany on this project. It was so much fun and something I want to do more of in the future.

- 54 people joined the Reverb11 community via the Facebook group (amazing!). This number seemed like the perfect amount. It never felt too crowded and voices never got lost in the mix.

The Not So Good

- The community prompt responses felt scattered. It was difficult to find responses from other reverbers to particular prompts, which I would have loved.

- The linky list disappeared on the reverb11 page on January 1st! Next time, I need to remember to extend the expiration date on the list before the list expires. I was hoping to have the linky list permanently available on the reverb11 page for reference.

- Daily blogging takes a lot of time! I loved journaling my responses to the prompts in my actual journal, but dreaded actually plugging everything in online, editing photos, adding tags, and so on. I would have felt more at ease during the experience if I were able to focus 80% of my time on the creative process and 20% of my time on the administrative process.

- I spent more time online during the holidays rather than offline in restorative mode. I’m happy I noticed this and hope to strike a better balance during reverb12.

The Takeaways

- I am eager to spearhead more community projects.

- Embrace spontaneity. Tiffany and I began this project on December 1st and just went with the flow!

- I surprised myself a lot during the experience (in a good way!). I want to remember this :).

- When a project is meaningful, you don’t focus on the end game the entire time, you are in the moment, immersed in the weeds. This is good. Relish the change in scenery and be sure to notice the beauty within the process.

- Deadlines are helpful and creating personal deadlines illuminate a sense of structure that you crave. But don’t defeat yourself with a deadline. Be flexible if you need a bit more time—especially if you’re enjoying the ride. (I needed an additional 3 weeks to complete reverb11)

- Practice and repetition are very wise teachers.

- I will definitely be hosting reverb12, save the date :).

p.s. have you entered the shabby apple giveaway (it is open until fri evening)!

image: pinwheel designs

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I can’t believe today’s post represents the end of Reverb11. The Reverb11 journey has been truly incredible. I hope to spend some time next week reflecting on this experience and share these reflections with you.

Below are my responses to the last two prompts. I used these prompts as a way to pull together some of the major themes from my responses thus far. It was a great way for me to take a step back and see the big take home messages.

Even if you didn’t participate in Reverb11, or maybe started but didn’t finish, I highly recommend exploring these two prompts as a separate exercise.

30. No. What will you say no to in 2012?
31. Yes. What will you say yes to in 2012 that you didn’t say yes to in 2011?

I approached these prompts as one.

NO < YES [the goal: less NO, more YES]

Less No, More Yes

No: Self-defeating language (e.g., I’m not good enough.)
Yes: Compassionate language (e.g., I am good enough.)

No: Should
Yes: Want

No: Comparison and Jealousy
Yes: Connection, Collaboration, and Inspiration

No: Defeat
Yes: Change

No: Quantity
Yes: Quality

No: Restless nights
Yes: Embracing rest and stillness

No: Judgment
Yes: Compassion

No: Avoiding fear
Yes: Minimizing fear through action

No: Clutter
Yes: Space

No: Drain
Yes: Nourish

No: Hibernation
Yes: Exploration

No: Worry
Yes: Curiosity

No: Reactive
Yes: Proactive

No: Playing it safe
Yes: Leaping and Playing BIG

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image: stacey bradley (etsy: perle anne)

p.s. have you entered the shabby apple dress giveaway? love hearing the places you plan to wear the dress!

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What would you like to say less NO and more YES to in 2012?

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This post is part of Reverb11. Through January 15th 22nd, I will be sharing my responses to the remainder of the prompts. My Reverb11 responses are a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting!

29. Questions.

What questions did you ask in 2011? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

I love questions—especially new questions. New questions always make me curious! I don’t love the questions that seem to constantly arise—the questions that demand investigation, change, and typically difficult to realize answers. These are the questions we run through our minds over and over again. These are the questions that are easier for us to ignore and push deep into our subconscious. In 2011, I focused a lot of my mental energy on these questions; the answers are slow to appear so great trust and faith in the process is necessary to believe that they will become visible at the right time. Below are a few questions from 2011, copied directly from the pages of my journal (note: I refer to myself as both I and you in the questions!).

—Should I give up on *this* dream?

—What do I need in this moment?

—What can I release from my life?

—Why are you doing *this* and not *that*?

—What am I avoiding? How can I reframe what I’m avoiding into something less cringe worthy?

—Given the current circumstances (which you can’t change), how do you choose to react?

—What mini-action can I take right now to move toward my desired goal?

—What are your options? What do you *want* to do? [this question is especially helpful when you feel lazy. write down all the possible items that you *want* to do and 9/10 times you'll be bored by the items after writing them down. it helps me get my groove back!]

—How can you bring a sense of security and ease to this situation (and similar situations in the future)?

—How can you actively use this lesson moving forward?

—How can I best protect my self-worth in this situation? (hint: magic ingredient=self-compassion)

—Are you being proactive or reactive?

—What evidence do I need to provide for myself to feel fulfilled?

What questions did you ask in 2011? What questions would you like to ask more in 2012? Any questions you would like to ask someone else?

photograph: maya lee

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This post is part of Reverb11. Through January 15th 22nd, I will be sharing my responses to the remainder of the prompts. My Reverb11 responses are a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting!

28. Vocabulary.
If you could eliminate one word from your brain forever—what would it be? (Author: Meadow DeVor)

One Word: Ruin

I tend to think in extremes—an all or nothing mindset (i.e., perfectionistic thinking). The most powerful way I reinforce this mindset: my language.

Ruin = Defeat. Crush. Break. Minimize.

These words lead to thoughts associated with “beyond repair” and “hopelessness.” To ruin is to weaken, to be left broken apart.

“This will ruin me.” could replace with “This will change me.”

Change is something I can work with. It’s a word that has options—hope.

The words we use have consequences. The words we subconsciously use have even greater consequences. Rather than focus on a word that quickly comes to mind, I dug a bit deeper and recognized words that I use often without even realizing. These are the words I want to bring awareness to. To eliminate them from my brain forever would be a great superpower; however, in reality, we must practice replacing these unwanted words with wanted words.

Notice –> Replace –> Rinse + Repeat

Over time, and with lots of repetition, you’ll notice yourself using the wanted words far more frequently than the unwanted, and this shift in communication lead to shifts in thoughts, feelings, actions, and consequences. Never underestimate the power of one word!

Check out Meadow’s post on this topic. She has some great word replacements in the post that I highly recommend printing to reference :).

image: uupp

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