reflect

Jan 21

Less No, More Yes

I can’t believe today’s post represents the end of Reverb11. The Reverb11 journey has been truly incredible. I hope to spend some time next week reflecting on this experience and share these reflections with you.

Below are my responses to the last two prompts. I used these prompts as a way to pull together some of the major themes from my responses thus far. It was a great way for me to take a step back and see the big take home messages.

Even if you didn’t participate in Reverb11, or maybe started but didn’t finish, I highly recommend exploring these two prompts as a separate exercise.

30. No. What will you say no to in 2012?
31. Yes. What will you say yes to in 2012 that you didn’t say yes to in 2011?

I approached these prompts as one.

NO < YES [the goal: less NO, more YES]

Less No, More Yes

No: Self-defeating language (e.g., I’m not good enough.)
Yes: Compassionate language (e.g., I am good enough.)

No: Should
Yes: Want

No: Comparison and Jealousy
Yes: Connection, Collaboration, and Inspiration

No: Defeat
Yes: Change

No: Quantity
Yes: Quality

No: Restless nights
Yes: Embracing rest and stillness

No: Judgment
Yes: Compassion

No: Avoiding fear
Yes: Minimizing fear through action

No: Clutter
Yes: Space

No: Drain
Yes: Nourish

No: Hibernation
Yes: Exploration

No: Worry
Yes: Curiosity

No: Reactive
Yes: Proactive

No: Playing it safe
Yes: Leaping and Playing BIG

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image: stacey bradley (etsy: perle anne)

p.s. have you entered the shabby apple dress giveaway? love hearing the places you plan to wear the dress!

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What would you like to say less NO and more YES to in 2012?

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Jan 19

Love the Questions

This post is part of Reverb11. Through January 15th 22nd, I will be sharing my responses to the remainder of the prompts. My Reverb11 responses are a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting!

29. Questions.

What questions did you ask in 2011? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

I love questions—especially new questions. New questions always make me curious! I don’t love the questions that seem to constantly arise—the questions that demand investigation, change, and typically difficult to realize answers. These are the questions we run through our minds over and over again. These are the questions that are easier for us to ignore and push deep into our subconscious. In 2011, I focused a lot of my mental energy on these questions; the answers are slow to appear so great trust and faith in the process is necessary to believe that they will become visible at the right time. Below are a few questions from 2011, copied directly from the pages of my journal (note: I refer to myself as both I and you in the questions!).

—Should I give up on *this* dream?

—What do I need in this moment?

—What can I release from my life?

—Why are you doing *this* and not *that*?

—What am I avoiding? How can I reframe what I’m avoiding into something less cringe worthy?

—Given the current circumstances (which you can’t change), how do you choose to react?

—What mini-action can I take right now to move toward my desired goal?

—What are your options? What do you *want* to do? [this question is especially helpful when you feel lazy. write down all the possible items that you *want* to do and 9/10 times you'll be bored by the items after writing them down. it helps me get my groove back!]

—How can you bring a sense of security and ease to this situation (and similar situations in the future)?

—How can you actively use this lesson moving forward?

—How can I best protect my self-worth in this situation? (hint: magic ingredient=self-compassion)

—Are you being proactive or reactive?

—What evidence do I need to provide for myself to feel fulfilled?

What questions did you ask in 2011? What questions would you like to ask more in 2012? Any questions you would like to ask someone else?

photograph: maya lee

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Jan 17

If You Could Eliminate One Word from Your Brain Forever

This post is part of Reverb11. Through January 15th 22nd, I will be sharing my responses to the remainder of the prompts. My Reverb11 responses are a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting!

28. Vocabulary.
If you could eliminate one word from your brain forever—what would it be? (Author: Meadow DeVor)

One Word: Ruin

I tend to think in extremes—an all or nothing mindset (i.e., perfectionistic thinking). The most powerful way I reinforce this mindset: my language.

Ruin = Defeat. Crush. Break. Minimize.

These words lead to thoughts associated with “beyond repair” and “hopelessness.” To ruin is to weaken, to be left broken apart.

“This will ruin me.” could replace with “This will change me.”

Change is something I can work with. It’s a word that has options—hope.

The words we use have consequences. The words we subconsciously use have even greater consequences. Rather than focus on a word that quickly comes to mind, I dug a bit deeper and recognized words that I use often without even realizing. These are the words I want to bring awareness to. To eliminate them from my brain forever would be a great superpower; however, in reality, we must practice replacing these unwanted words with wanted words.

Notice –> Replace –> Rinse + Repeat

Over time, and with lots of repetition, you’ll notice yourself using the wanted words far more frequently than the unwanted, and this shift in communication lead to shifts in thoughts, feelings, actions, and consequences. Never underestimate the power of one word!

Check out Meadow’s post on this topic. She has some great word replacements in the post that I highly recommend printing to reference :).

image: uupp

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Dec 30

Rebuilding Community

UPDATE!! Throughout December, I have been posting my personal responses to Reverb11. Below is my response to the 20th prompt! This post is my last Reverb11 response for 2011. I have decided to complete the final 11 prompts after the New Year (between January 1st and January 15th). I have one or two special posts to share before the New Year. Then, for the first two weeks of January, my posts will be a mix of reverb11 prompt responses and more “normal” posts! If you would like to join Reverb11, feel free to get started after the New Year! There are no rules :). Thank you for being a part of this personal journey!

20. Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2011? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2012? (Author: Cali Harris)

Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. -Albert Camus

In 2011, I feel like I lost a sense of community—both online and offline. I’ve felt more disconnected than usual which is likely associated with a sense of loss with regard to communities that I am no longer a part of this year. Through this sense of loss, I’ve truly come to recognize the importance of community within my life—online and offline, personal and professional.

In 2012, I’m excited to rebuild community into my life. I will be moving in the spring (from Boston to Miami) and hope to join a book club after I get settled. I would also love to get involved with the creative community offline in a meaningful way. Online, I would love to begin to create a community to help individuals connect with others more easily—enable others to come together with ease and feel a sense of connection and unity rather than competition within the online sphere. I think there are so many people, like me, that crave a safe place online to share the ups and downs of our journey and to solicit/provide feedback. I hope that 2012 is the year that I’ll begin to fill this gap in the online community.

image: glitter guide

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Dec 28

A Joyful Life

Note for new readers: Throughout December, I will be posting my personal responses to Reverb11. My posts will be a bit different than usual—more vulnerable, less polished, more frequent, and probably more interesting! However, you can expect some “special” posts  during the month as well. If you’re interested in reading more typical content, check out a few of the most popular posts. Regardless of what you’re reading (or not reading), welcome and happy December!

19. Joy. What does a joyful life look like for you?

A Joyful Life

… is composed of joyful moments.

… is being mindful of joyful moments.

… is now, not tomorrow—it’s a state of being not based on circumstances.

… is grabbing the moment, and not letting it go.

… is feeling giddy about what you’re doing or who you’re with.

… is working smarter, not harder.

… is accepting what is and letting go of what is not.

… is filled with imperfections and mistakes.

… is jagged and rarely smooth, made of turns and leaps—dreams realized and dreams abandoned.

… is undefinable, constantly evolving.

… is available to all who embrace it, all who feel worthy of embracing it. moments of joy enable you to get through life’s darkest moments, especially when you feel joy is the last emotion you should be feeling. it’s during the difficult moments that you need to dig deep and embrace little kernels of joy.

moments of joy. flashes of delight. that is what we live for, that is a joyful life.

What, in this moment, brings you joy?

image: ritzy bee

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