Want to See Inside My Notebook?

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD

Licensed psychologist and wellness consultant

For this week’s letter, I’m doing something a little different. I’m inviting you into my notebook—a collection of thoughts and lines that have stuck with me recently. These are things I’ve either written down or said aloud that continue to resonate. There’s no particular order to them. My hope is that as you skim through, one or two will prompt reflection or connect with you personally.


  • What do you feel when you’re not judging yourself?
  • If a certain word isn’t landing—change your language.
  • Think about Future You—tomorrow morning, rushing to get out the door. What’s one thing you can do tonight for Future You that offers a sense of relief or acknowledgment?
  • If others don’t respect your boundaries, stop trying to force them. What do you actually have control over?
  • Focus on what you have—not what you don’t.
  • If you’re going to create elaborate negative scenarios, at least be fair and create a few positive ones too.
  • You may not get the result you want. But you can handle that. Don’t let fear of failure distract you from giving your best.
  • Anxiety feeds on attention.
  • How can we make this easier?
  • You are not responsible for their emotions.
  • I don’t believe in magic wands. What I do believe: nothing is stronger than human grit and resilience—the fight within us to navigate the dark.
  • This is real, and it’s very scary. And you’re not alone. You have support surrounding you, every step of the way.
  • This challenge or disruption could be a pivotal moment for you. How can you respond to it with excitement about the new possibilities ahead?
  • Look inward for answers instead of outward.
  • I’m going to make this more complicated by taking away some time in your schedule. It’s time to get creative.
  • If we can’t let go and accept that the past is unchangeable, we’ll never be able to create change in the present.
  • We get to choose: to focus on the hypothetical “what ifs” or to focus on what is right now.
  • I really believe in myself.
  • What if the very thing you’re seeking is the thing keeping you stuck?

And some insights from my children and husband. If you know them, you’ve likely heard them numerous times.I hope they bring a smile or a new perspective to your day, just as they do to mine.  

  • My husband: Work Hard. Be Kind. [he has a sign on his desk with these words and uses them to anchor how he approaches business and life]
  • My son, 10 years old: Keep your head up. [started in basketball as a reminder to himself and then expanded to general life]
  • My daughter, 6 years old: I’m strong. I’m brave. I can do this. [these phrases became her battle song as she navigates life after experiencing anaphylactic shock 18 months ago]

Take one line that resonates with you and hold on to it this week. See how it shows up in your life and the thoughts that bubble to the surface.

⭐️ This coming week I’ll be sharing details about a free live webinar I’m hosting in early October. I’m pouring everything into it and hope to provide support to as many people as I can. Stay tuned for more info!

Take good care of yourself,
Dr. Carolyn