Too Much of a Good Thing is Not a Good Thing

Carolyn Rubenstein, PhD

Licensed psychologist and wellness consultant

I’ve noticed myself working more in the evenings and weekends. It started gradually but has now reached a point where I write a to-do list for the evening and pack in tons of expectations for the weekend.

The thing is, I love the things I’m doing. My work as a psychologist is my North Star, and I love creating resources for this community. I can spend hours finding the “perfect” tool based on the latest research for a guide. However, passion and enjoyment come with a cost. They require mental, physical, and emotional energy. It’s easy to forget this when you’re engrossed in something you love.

Over time, this constant engagement without boundaries takes a toll. You might feel more fatigued, less creative, and increasingly resentful of the work you once adored. This slow build can eventually lead to burnout, even when doing what you love.


Personal Commitment

I’m reestablishing internal boundaries – boundaries I have with myself. I love timers and use them constantly to keep me on task, but I notice that I will just hit start again until forced to end. So, no more.

A couple of weeks ago, I started using an online app to keep track of how I spend my time during the day. I’ve been using the free version of Clockify (no affiliation), and it’s been enlightening. For example, while writing this letter, I hit start on a project I created called “letter writing.” Then I hit stop when done. At the end of the week, I can see how much time I truly spent on different projects/tasks each day—no more walking blindly.

When emotion drives our decisions, we become reactive and often face negative consequences. It’s crucial for logic and emotion to guide our choices. Last week, I spent 2.5 hours writing letter no. 23—1 hour on Tuesday and 1.5 hours on Thursday. This data helps me plan better, ensuring I enjoy writing without feeling exhausted from striving for perfection.

Establishing Boundaries

Managing your time is within your control (even if you feel it isn’t). There are aspects you can control, and that’s where you need to focus.

Steps for managing your time with the stuff you enjoy doing:

  • Define limits (time, where): Set clear boundaries for when and where you work on tasks. This helps to prevent work from spilling into personal time.
  • Follow the limits (no snooze or saying “just this one time”): Stick to the boundaries you’ve set. It’s easy to make exceptions, but these can quickly become habits.
  • Use it to help you refuel for less enjoyable tasks: Be strategic about when you do tasks you love to recharge and prepare for less enjoyable ones.
  • Accept that you can’t do it all and can’t create more time: Acknowledge your limitations and work within them. This acceptance is crucial for maintaining your well-being.

Taking Action

Reflect on how you manage your passion and work. Are you setting realistic boundaries? Are you allowing yourself to rest and recharge?

Take Action: Use tools like timers and time-tracking apps to understand how you spend your time and adjust your habits accordingly.

You have the power to change this narrative. By setting clear boundaries and respecting them, you can maintain your passion without sacrificing your well-being. Your energy and creativity are valuable resources—manage them wisely.

All my love,

Dr. Carolyn