As a psychologist and through my Instagram account, I’m often asked, “What are your strategies or tips for ____?” It’s a very normal question—one I might ask someone as well.
However, I’ve realized that people digest information differently based on their unique circumstances. The best strategies mean nothing if they feel overwhelming or irrelevant. This has driven me to explore how I can best support people in achieving growth and change, especially those who aren’t in my office.
When I do AMAs on Instagram, I take time (maybe too much 🫣) to reply thoughtfully. I try to think through multiple lenses to share in a way that feels empowering rather than paralyzing. I often write more than one slide, even though it’s not great for the algorithm, because there are no simple answers to very human struggles.
So why am I sharing this?
Because I want to empower you to ask questions not just to others, but to yourself. As cliché as it sounds, you are the expert on you.
There are a few underlying messages in the question, “What are your strategies or tips?” that need to be explored:
💡The belief that someone else knows best. Regardless of degrees, years in practice, or success rates, no one truly knows best across the board.
💡A request for a prescriptive solution. The question often seeks a specific, “best” solution, which can be disempowering.
Instead of just following strategies or tips, I encourage you to explore your own needs and circumstances. Here are some practical steps to consider:
Ask yourself relevant questions.
… Is this advice relevant to me? What other factors should I consider?
… Simply take out a piece of paper and write—see what comes up when you look towards yourself for the path forward.
Evaluate feasibility.
… Is this strategy practical for me? How can I make it easier to apply in my life?
… Consider how this strategy will work on your toughest days.
Define desired outcomes.
… What is the outcome I’m hoping for?
… How will I measure progress? How will I know when I’ve reached it?
Check-in with yourself.
… How can I set up a way to check in with myself regularly to assess progress?
… Consider how you will manage setbacks and use information to help you adjust your strategy.
Plan for alternatives.
… How can I support myself if I don’t reach the desired outcome – or the strategy doesn’t work for me?
… What are alternative paths I could take? This allows for flexibility as you put strategies into practice.
My Experience
When I began refining the tools and strategies in my Beyond Burnout Workbook (full workbook and more launching soon), I noticed that while the workbook contains all the “best” strategies – success differs based on how individuals adjust the strategies to their individual lives. By focusing on empowering self-inquiry and personal relevance, I’ve seen clients and students experience lasting change.
I want to invite you to try this approach. Next time you’re looking for strategies or tips, start by asking yourself these questions. Write down your thoughts and see where your own expertise leads you.
Feel free to share your experiences and questions with me by replying to this letter. I’m here to support you on this journey, but remember, the most important expert in your life is you.
All my love,
Dr. Carolyn